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The Beauty {or the lack of it...} in DNF


The Beauty {or the lack of it} in DNF




Both knees jammed… Intense vomit sensation… Bleeding chafed body…
The GPS watch chirped 24 Kms complete… A KM more to go… A right turn shortly towards a ~600 mtr climb to Gandhi tekdi and back… & then to the finish line of the most grueling run of Mumbai… 

The knees collapsed, body said NO, the mind became weak, heart didn’t cared – instead of taking the right turn I straight walked towards the finish line – Closing my painful BNP 25Kms Endurathon 2016 experience at 24.xx KMs…

Almost back in senses and while traveling back to home, received a message on my running club’s WhatsApp group.. Names followed by timings of all the participants.. In the last line of the message – 
Ashish Joshi – D.N.F.

I have spent almost last 45 mins to come up with a line to describe that feeling… But mere words are not enough when you have actually let your own self down!

Too ashamed in my own eyes… Why the hell did I missed that last 600 mtrs climb? A DNF with less than 1KM left? But I was in no condition to even move few mtrs! So what! you should have endured! I was just not able to get these questions out of my mind…

This post is not about the negativity that surrounded me… This post is not about gyan on running, as I happen to be a very slow & amateur runner… Since 2016, that one DNF, whenever remembered, has taken my running, personal & professional life to a new high & positivity… Wait! What? Positivity in DNF? :)
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Present day ‘2018 – Ran 73 Kms non-stop in an all night Ultra, 2 FMs finished with PB under 5:15, BNP ’17 finished comfortably in ~3:15, Satara ultra HM completed under 2:30, Tata Ultra 50Kms, Malnad Ultra 80 KMs {Yeah! THE Malnad Ultra with >50% DNF rate finished comfortably}... Plans to run many more Ultras on the cards – Had it not been for BNP ’16, I would have been still running picnic runs of 10-21Km on flat tracks, never ever attempting a FM or higher distance.. ALL of this because of one race – DNFed BNP ’16 {Timings are of an average runner and you are on the wrong page if you are looking for Sub 4hrs FM strategies!}

The run where I struggled the most.. The run that I didn’t finished -  actually taught me the most and helped me in running as well as work life. The tough business months of Demonetization & GST transition; I was able to deliver a relatively better performance – because of one race – DNFed BNP ‘16


Reasons why BNP’16 was actually a good thing that happened to me? How did it actually helped me in all spheres of life?

1.    The bitter taste of DNF – an absolutely sad experience! More than 2 years since the run, I still can feel that taste in my mouth. I thought it will go away after a strong finish on the same route in ’17, but NO! The taste stays till date.. AND ensures that I give a full out effort to tasks at hand and get them to completion so as to avoid the bitterness again! In many challenging business months, it’s the experience of DNFed BNP’16 that helps me rake in that extra ounce of energy to power thru the end

2.  I registered for BNP ’16 with lack of preparation. I was doing routine runs on flat tracks comfortably and registered for BNP Endurathon just because a lot of friends were going. What I encountered was an absolutely different ball game. One should be absolutely prepared and knowledgeable about the challenge that he is undertaking! Be it a run or a work-task

3.   Friends & Mentors makes your life! When I set my eyes on doing things that will help me redeem myself in my own eyes – support/guidance of the near & dear ones was the vital ingredient. Rohan, Bijender, Manish & Hari Sir – the continuous knowledge sharing & company helped mould the body so as to endure the requirements of Ultra runs

4.    You need a strong & supportive wife to take up challenging tasks – running or career | one who supports you when you are extremely late at work or planning to run super late in night! - & that’s what I have been blessed with! Thank you Minali!!


5.    One needs to train dirty to get the right outcomes. I gave up on flats and started going to Parsik hill as much as possible. Running gods lives on hills & they come to bless you if you are consistent


As I look back, the DNFed BNP’16 run is the run that has taught me the most; it’s the run that actually gave me the best mileage on so many counts! Thank You BNP Endurathon!!




 P.S. - Yours truly happens to be an average runner with a lifetime of miles to go before claiming any notable running achievements, the thoughts are more about seeing a negative episode with positive light and taking its help for future. Cheers!

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